Yesterday marked the year anniversary of Finn’s passing. The weather was almost exactly the same as it was a year ago when we put him to rest. I recall the last few weeks of his life with a mix of both fondness and sorrow. We made some wonderful memories throughout Finn’s life, but we crammed a few extra into his last few weeks. I think we saw the writing on the wall and we wanted to make the most of our time. We took him with us to the NAPgA Rendezvous in Monticello, UT in June, and 4th of July was one of the best ever. Finn was waning fast by then and I wasn’t sure if he’d hold up to a long truck ride followed by a parade and day of standing in the heat and crowds at Cuchara. But Finn was happiest at the center of everyone’s attention and he lapped it up in Cuchara. It was one of my favorite 4th of July celebrations ever and I won’t forget it. Finn shared my sno-cone: a delicacy he’d discovered the previous summer in Laramie, WY at the Higher Ground Fair. A week later we were planning Finn’s last rites. Phil and I spent a cherished final day in the woods with him all to ourselves. He reveled in the attention, but it was obvious his spark was gone and his body was shutting down.

Finn’s final Rendy:

4th of July was amazing!

I will never forget our last restful day in the silence and beauty of Rye Park. Just us and Finn and the sunshine and the breeze.

Here is Finn on his last day, surrounded by his progeny. Every one of the goats in this photo is a granddaughter or great-grandchild.

This is the last photo I have of our beloved Finn.

Losing Finn made me lose much of my enthusiasm for posting photos this past year. It’s not as though nothing has happened. On the contrary, we’ve had quite a few wonderful adventures with our goats, including one of our best trips to Utah last fall. We’ve had some great hikes, our best crop of kids ever, a couple of obstacle competitions, and some fabulous training success with both our younger goats and with Pest, who was wethered last November and has been truly loving his new life as a packgoat. I’ve taken a lot of photos but for some reason I haven’t wanted to post them. Some of my most ardent blog followers died a few years ago. My motivation was already on the wane, and Finn’s loss sent me into a bit of a dark time where I just wanted to distance myself from the internet. Perhaps this post will help jump-start my interest again. I do love sharing my “goat life” with the few strange folks out there like myself who are eternally enamored by these wonderful, goofy, quirky, gentle, beautiful, hilarious, creatures.

Finn was one of those animals that was so beautiful he made my heart skip. I feel his loss deeply in part for that reason. Any time I looked at our goat herd, Finn was always the one that popped out from the rest, and my heart would leap like it does when you see a beautiful bull elk with a full rack, or a huge moose or a bighorn ram, or a stallion prancing. Finn just had that effect on me. I don’t know if he had that effect on others, but I miss his heart-stopping presence on our farm. I also miss his “help” when I’m doing chores. Finn was one of those goats who couldn’t leave well enough alone. If I was puttering around the yard, Finn was puttering after me, constantly interfering, constantly getting into things, constantly in the way. I’d be mucking out goat pens with no goats in sight, then suddenly I’d hear the wheelbarrow crash over behind me, contents strewn over the ground I’d just cleaned. It was Finn. It was always Finn. Looking completely innocent of course. He was endlessly annoying, but it was impossible to stay mad at him. He was too sweet and way too cute, with his fuzzy white face and pink nose, those big happy liquid eyes, and a tongue that poked out just a tiny bit. Finn was incredibly huggable despite his enormous horns, and he would regularly lay his head against my chest and ask for loves.

I amassed an enormous collection of photographs of Finn over his ten years. He was so gorgeous it was hard not to take endless pictures of him, and every picture with Finn in it was almost certain to be amazing. His bold, handsome coloring popped out against any background, and he often posed like a celebrity. Like Cuzco. Finn learned from the best! I finally managed to curate my “Finn Collection” and put it into a photo montage. You’ll have to pardon the length. It’s difficult to take such a full and fantastic life and whittle it down to 15 minutes. I hope you enjoy it.